Is God Giving Me a “Sign?” Or Is It My OCD?

A string of strangely meaningful events happen all at once, just as you’re trying to make an important decision. You wonder: is God giving me a sign? How would you find out if it’s really from God, or if it’s just coincidence?

Take Nelson’s* story, for example.

Nelson is a ministry major at a large Christian university. Since being saved on his 16th birthday, Nelson has dreamed of becoming a youth pastor. But now he’s facing a crisis: he needs to choose between two good options, and the stress of decision-making is taking a terrible toll on his mental health. It’s the summer after his junior year and he has the option to go for an eight week mission trip to Tanzania, or he can go to Chicago and intern under a senior pastor who is heavily involved in city missions and youth evangelism.

Nelson wants to go to Chicago because it aligns with the ministry work that he wants to do. Going to Chicago feels like the “lesser” option because it doesn’t involve all the rigors and “crosses to bear” that a rural mission trip would involve. He also feels like he might have a conflict of interest because his girlfriend lives three hours away from Chicago and he’d be able to see her fairly regularly throughout the summer.

Nelson doesn’t know what to do. So he begins asking God to give him a sign.

Seeking Signs Everywhere

The first sign pops up in the form of numbers. Nelson begins seeing the number 16 everywhere. 16 is a special number to him, because of John 3:16, but also because he became a Christian on his 16th birthday, and because he was gifted a 2016 Honda which he felt was a “God gift.” Now he begins seeing 16 everywhere. On the clock, on price tags, even when he glances at the crosswalk countdown numbers as he’s driving.

Is God giving me a sign? Nelson wonders. At first it feels affirming. 16 is a good number, a number which makes him feel seen and loved by God. Maybe God is telling me it’s okay to do the internship in Chicago, he thinks.

But then he gets conflicting “signs.” He hears a sermon that pushes hard for international missions. He meets a random guy in the store who volunteers the information that he’s from Tanzania. Then he’s folding his t-shirts and sees the tag inside one of his shirts: made in Tanzania.

Nelson becomes more and more anxious. He doesn’t want to go to Tanzania! But what if God is telling him to go there? Would he be sinning if he went to Chicago instead? What if he went to Chicago and it derailed God’s entire plan for his life?

Nelson fasts and prays for 24 hours, begging God to give him a clear sign.

He opens his laptop and sees an email from the organizers of the mission trip. The email headline makes him laugh out loud: “Only 16 more days to register for the Tanzania Mission Trip!”

Scrupulosity and Signs

Trying to understand God’s will through the use of signs is very popular in certain branches of Christianity. It’s also very popular for people with scrupulosity (religious OCD). But for people with scrupulosity, sign-seeking can become a volatile activity–one day, the signs rocket us towards joy and confirmation, and the next day, they plunge us into despair. The signs seem elusive yet ever-present, powerful yet fleeting. We see them everywhere and yet, one sign is never enough. We constantly need more signs to confirm or direct our path. And what’s worse, the signs conflict with one another, leading us to erratic behavior as we try to follow the dictates of every sign (such as the young lady who would breakup and date one guy after another based on the whims of the “signs” she got from God.)

Having personally worked with hundreds of believers with scrupulosity, I do not advise including “signs” in your repertoire of “methods for discerning God’s will.”

At all.

In other resources I’ve also cautioned against listening to mental “impressions,” which are too easy to get confused with OCD’s intrusive thoughts. But as it relates to signs, let’s also remember that the OCD brain is highly suggestible. We are more likely than others to see “meaning” in objects, events, sounds, songs, verses, numbers, or feelings. The sensitive and discerning nature of most people with scrupulosity also makes us more likely to notice things that others would miss, especially if it’s something that seems to confirm or deny the issue we are struggling with.

You may have read Gideon’s story in the book of Judges and thought that it’s a blueprint for learning God’s will on a matter. “Put out a fleece” and see how God answers. We pick random objects or events around us and turn them into a wager–if this, then God is saying yes, if that, then God is saying no. Is God giving me a sign in the rainbow outside, or in the page number I was assigned to read, or in the bird that landed on my windowsill?

Probably not.

Let me remind you that Gideon’s story of the two fleeces is quite exceptional in Scripture, and he seems to know that based on how he apologizes for asking for a sign the third time.

Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me, but let me speak just once more: Let me test, I pray, just once more with the fleece; let it now be dry only on the fleece, but on all the ground let there be dew.”

Judges 6:39

If you’ve asked for one sign, you should do it carefully and meaningfully. If you’ve asked for a second one, you should make doubly sure you’re asking from your sound mind and not from your OCD mind. If you ask for a third sign, you should probably be as humble about it as Gideon was. But if you’re asking for your 87th sign, there’s something wrong.

Obsessive-compulsive sign-seeking is primarily characterized by a need for repetitive confirmations–one sign is never enough. If you’re a sign-seeker, read the following passage and see how it sits with you.

Then the Pharisees came out and began to dispute with Him, seeking from Him a sign from heaven, testing Him. But He sighed deeply in His spirit, and said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Assuredly, I say to you, no sign shall be given to this generation.”

Mark 8:11-12

You might have listened to non-OCD people talking about how God gave them “signs” and then things turned out perfectly for them. Maybe you’ve been thinking that this is the way that all “normal Christians” go about making major life decisions, and you’ve found yourself trapped in a vortex of compulsivity. Let me share a few practical ideas that might help you find more reliable ways of receiving God’s guidance than seeking for signs.

Is God Giving Me a Sign? Practical Advice for Sign-Seekers

I don’t have a completely organized way for sharing these thoughts, so I will jot them down in a list and let you pick which ones are most relevant to you.

Idea #1: Lack of Biblical Instruction on Signs

Scripture is quiet on the topic of how to interpret signs. There is no proof text or key chapter we can go to to learn about how to ask for, and how to interpret, signs. We are not given a structured way of deciding what “counts” as a sign–does it have to be a dream? Can a “word” from any random person be considered a sign if it uses a similar keyword to what we’ve been pondering, or if it rouses specific emotions? Does God intend for us to attach depth of meaning to specific numbers, colors, places, or imagery, and does He “mean” the same thing every time these cross our paths again? That is, how do we know that certain imagery or symbols mean the same thing every time? After all, in the Bible, symbols don’t always mean the same thing. “Fire” can represent destruction (as in Sodom and Gomorrah), God’s presence (as in the burning bush or the pillar of fire), or purification (as in the refining of gold). A “serpent” can symbolize Satan, or wisdom/cunning (Jesus told us to be wise as serpents) or healing/faith (as in the bronze serpent).

We simply don’t have a reliable, biblical way of interpreting the things we “think” are signs.

We do have some biblical stories that feature signs, but let’s remember that biblical narratives should first and foremost be understood as descriptive, not necessarily prescriptive, unless there is a part of the text where God commends the person’s action.

The fact that we aren’t really told how this sign-seeking business ought to work should let us know that it’s not that central to the way we discern God’s will. Maybe peripheral at best, but not a central aspect to discerning God’s will for your life due to the possibility for human error.

Idea #2: Signs Are Confusing

Sometimes when trying to make a decision, we make the issue contingent upon a sign. But when no sign shows up, we ruminate and analyze the situation to death and get more and more anxious the more we feel God’s perceived “silence.” Or, on the flip side, we may become so anxious about twisting signs in our own favor that we only see “bad omens” everywhere. We may constantly feel forced to choose the worst of two options just to “make sure” we aren’t manipulating signs or misreading God’s will. Or some of us may have OCD’s awful “false memory” problem where we can’t remember exactly what sign we actually asked for, or we can’t remember exactly what happened in a given circumstance (to analyze whether or not it was really a sign from God), so we ruminate incessantly to try to “figure out” if God was sending a message that we might have missed.

My main point here: the fuzzy, intangible nature of so-called “signs” is a hotbed of confusion.

And the Bible says God is not the author of confusion.

If your sign-seeking is making you confused, I think it’s time to evaluate the fruit of this habit and see if it might be time to stop relying on things that might actually be from your own head instead of from God.

Idea #3: What If God’s Guidance Is More Hands-Off Than You Thought?

Let me share an idea that might sound radical to some of my readers. What if receiving God’s guidance is more hands-off than you previously believed? What if being guided in right paths and to right destinations is more of a “letting” and “allowing” type of activity and less of a “figuring out” and “perceiving” activity?

I didn’t come up with this idea, of course. I get this from my husband, a very logical German whose mode of operation is, “pray for guidance and get busy doing what’s in front of you.” The first time he expressed this idea in our marriage, I had not yet been diagnosed with scrupulosity, and I thought it sounded terribly human of him. I was, to be honest, appalled.

My scrupulous mind couldn’t comprehend doing anything without having some sort of affirmative feeling or sign first. I don’t know if I lacked confidence in my own God-given autonomy, or if I lacked faith in God’s providential hand over my life. But I was the cowering child on the playground of life, paralyzed by fears of what could go wrong. My husband was the bold, carefree child, playing with gusto in the belief that his Father was watching over him and would move him out of danger’s way if necessary.

Seeing the fruits of my husband’s faith has been impactful to me. God has preserved him in so many ways–I can’t tell all his hallelujah stories, but he has many. And he never analyzes decisions to the extent that we with scrupulosity do. He prays and steps out, trusting.

You in Your mercy have led forth
The people whom You have redeemed;
You have guided them in Your strength
To Your holy habitation.

Exodus 15:13

Notice in this passage, it is the strength of God which is responsible for guiding God’s people. Not their stellar ability to discern and perceive God’s will.

A man’s heart plans his way,
But the LORD directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

God can override your plans. And that override will most likely not be through some sort of mystical signs or birds landing on your windowsill or seeing the number 18 four times in a row. He will do it. He will redirect you in a way you cannot accidentally circumvent.

Conclusion

Here is my parting advice for someone trying to break up with compulsive sign-seeking: Pray to God for guidance. Then, as quickly as possible, make the most sensible decision available to you and commit to moving forward with it in some concrete fashion, trusting God to redirect you if needed, without looking for any signs of confirmation or direction.

• Pray. When we pray to God, we are following biblical instructions to “cast our cares upon Him.” We are admitting from the deepest part of our flawed human selves that we are not up to the task, and we need Him to intervene. We cannot guide ourselves. We are clueless. We are confused. God, in Your mercy, lead me.
• As quickly as possible… I put time pressures on making your decision (as quickly as possible) because OCD can make you hem and haw over decisions for months or even years. That’s not living in faith or freedom. One of my professors once told me that God can’t guide the ship unless it’s moving. So get the ship going forward and then let God worry about steering it.
• Make the most sensible decision available to you. I say “most sensible decision.” Please note that this advice necessitates that you try to crawl out of your OCD brain and apply the “rational person argument,” which I’ve talked about elsewhere on my blog and in my group coaching sessions. The rational person argument says, “What would a rational, non-OCD, spirit-filled Christian do in this situation?” Think about that as briefly and as sanely as possible. If you are in a terrible OCD spiral and don’t feel sane enough to think this way right now, postpone until a later time when you’re calm(er).

• Commit to moving forward… sign the lease, sell the car, quit the job, buy a special token of love to show that you commit to staying together with your girlfriend, plant a tree to show that you commit to staying in your house–do something tangible to externalize your faith and possibly help put your OCD to rest.
• Trusting God to redirect you… if God redirected disobedient Jonah with a big fish, certainly He will redirect those with anxious analysis paralysis who are genuinely trying to follow Him! Trust with your little mustard seed and He will grow your faith bigger and stronger.
• Without looking for any signs of confirmation or direction. Please note that if God is going to redirect you, it is probably going to be different than you’re expecting. Don’t look for “vague feelings” of confirmation or the lack of confirmation. Don’t look for signs that require your human perception to notice, interpret, and apply God’s will in symbolism. God’s redirection is not going to be dependent upon your perceptive abilities. I like the imagery in Ezekiel 8 where the Spirit picks Ezekiel up by his hair and transports him to the place where God needs him to be. I have personally had God spare my life, preventing me from being in a disaster zone at a time when I would have certainly perished. His way of directing me out of harm’s way was in providential rearrangement of my schedule and seemed completely mundane until viewed in hindsight. I think this is typical for the way God guides us. We can hardly discern it until afterwards.

In summary, I will suggest that believers with obsessive-compulsive disorder need to be highly suspicious of “signs.” In fact, I would be very happy if at least some of my readers will free themselves from the compulsive urge to search for confirmation and direction in signs. There are so many better ways that God will speak and guide.

If you’ve been asking, “Is God giving me a sign,” and if you have an OCD diagnosis, I’d like to suggest…probably not. Let me tell you one last story that I hope will make my point.

It was 2022 and my husband and I were trying to get pregnant with our first child. We’d been waiting to finish a lot of professional projects and my doctoral degree, and I was thrilled to finally start trying for a family after more than 9 years of marriage. I had gotten much better with my OCD and was able to ignore most of the chatter. But this time I was tricked by the seemingly positive nature of the intrusive thought. It was, “Lord, if we get pregnant on the first month trying, I’ll take it as a sign that You love me and that You remember the suffering I endured in the mission field.”

To make a long story short, I didn’t get pregnant that first month. And for a few days, it devastated me. God hadn’t given me the sign I craved. But I knew it contradicted Scripture to say that it meant He didn’t love me. Which is ultimately what made me rethink the whole thing.

Why did I need a sign to confirm what could be known in Scripture? The Bible tells me that God loves me. I don’t need any sort of external sign to affirm that. What I need is deeper trust in the unchanging Word that applies to me–yes, to me.

So whether you are seeking signs to affirm what the Word already tells you, or signs to guide and direct you through the vague uncertainties of life, let me remind you that there is a Savior who loves you. He watches over you tenderly every moment of the day. He never forgets you in your struggling and striving. He has good plans for your life–one day you will even look back on the crucibles and be grateful for them. He is guiding you, He is! You don’t need signs.

Pray and make the most sensible decision as quickly as you can. Then commit to it in some tangible form and trust God to redirect you if needed, without looking for signs.

Best wishes on the journey,